The subject of change has been in the air in more ways than one recently.
My Aunt Ruth Crowder McSwain called the other day and we had a nice talk. Aunt Ruth is not really my aunt - she's my great aunt. And a great one she is. Aunt Ruth is my mother's aunt but she is only one year older than mama. You see Aunt Ruth's father, William Albert Crowder, had ten children. William Albert Crowder married Mary Etta Boggs in 1896 and they had several children before she died in 1911. One of those children was my grandfather, Plato Dixon Crowder - my mother's father. Plato married Nettie Nevada Spangler and in 1926 my mother, Ruby, was born.
Stay with me here.
After Mary Etta died, Will Crowder married Sara Frances Jones better known as Fannie. Will and Fannie had several more children and one of those children was Ruth, born in 1925.
That makes William Albert (Will) Crowder my mother's grandfather and Ruth's father. Which means that, even though Ruth is only one year older than Mama, she is Mama's Aunt.
And even tho she is technically my GREAT Aunt Ruth, we all call her Aunt Ruth. But she really is great. All of the Crowders were interested in education and a lot of that family became teachers. Aunt Ruth was a teacher who became a counselor and a very entertaining motivational speaker. She even co-wrote a book titled, "Guarding Your Own Mental Health in a Fast Paced World". I have heard her speak on several occasions and she is fun, entertaining, loving and her message is clear.
Once I heard her speak and she started out by saying. "Look to the person on your left." Everyone turned their heads left and she said "They look like a pretty nice person don't they?" Everyone kind of smiled and a few murmurs were heard then Aunt Ruth said, "Now look to the person on your right". All heads turned to the right as Aunt Ruth suggested that most likely they looked okay too.
Then Aunt Ruth drew up to her full tall self, gained the attention of everyone in the room and said, "Statistics show that one out of every three people have some level of mental illness. If it's not the person on your left or your right, then it must be YOU."
After the laughter died down, Aunt Ruth presented her message of truth and humor and how we all need to learn how to wade through life's challenges and live a life of celebration.
Aunt Ruth is always a lot of fun. She can take most any situation, no matter how terrifying or sad or unjust, and turn it into a funny life lesson.
So I was glad to get a phone call from her the other day. No surprise we chatted mostly about sports, but really about personal development through sports. After a bit I asked Aunt Ruth how she was doing, knowing that in her late 80's she has seen plenty of life's joys and sorrows. She said, "I'm doing okay. You know you just have to get used to change. Change is gonna come so get used to it. It's the best way."
Changes this season include David IV beginning his second year at Cowboy Stadium and Jay beginning his first year as a graduate student in the Gardner Webb MBA program.. David is moving around into different departments and learning the ropes of management from various angles. Jay has moved from a player to a graduate assistant on the GWU basketball team. As parents, our main goal is to teach our children to become independent of us. They will no doubt meet challenges and struggle at times along the way but we are having to learn to let them learn from their own experience. As Thomas always says, "Every generation has to learn that the stove is hot." But, so far so good and we are grateful and excited to watch both boys spread their wings in their own directions.
There are many people in my thoughts who have met with tough changes recently - mostly health related. Health challenges make most other challenges seem pretty small.
Dad, at age 89, decided to have cataract surgery. This was a big decision which he struggled with but decided to forge ahead. I think that took a lot of courage and it was inspiring to me that he was still adapting to change and looking to the future. The surgery was done in stages and was quite the process but when it was all said and done his vision is now 20-30. That's probably better than mine. He can read with just readers now and that's almost a miracle.
My best friend-boy college pal, Gardner, and his sweet wife, Beth, woke up at 2:00 am the other day with Gardner in cardiac arrest. Talk about an abrupt change. One minute all is well and the next EMS is trying to bring you back to life. Thankfully Gardner is recuperating due to what must have been excellent care by medical personnel, Gardner's will to live, a total devotion by Beth, and a host of old and new friends who came out of the woodwork to let them know how much they are loved. Some changes are terrifying but awesome at the same time. Gardner has always been a connector but even he was surprised at the expressions of love from all around. I have no doubt that Gardner and Beth and all of us who love them will come through this changed for the better.
Another person has inspired me and many others with courage in the face of change.
David Wilson is our friend and yet another cousin. This one on the Spangler side. Mama Crowder, my grandmother - Nettie Nevada Spangler Crowder - had several siblings and one of those was Aunt Laura. In Lattimore tradition, we all refer to her as Aunt Laura but she would have been my great aunt. Anyway, Aunt Laura Spangler married Clarence Wilson and they had children Ed and Faye. We all called Ed - Ed. Ed Wilson is David Wilson's grandfather. So that makes David Wilson and me second cousins once removed. I'm not sure what we were removed from but according to Libby that's what we are.
We all have fond memories of Uncle Ab and Aunt Mittie Spangler's and also Ed Wilson's Food Booths at the Cleveland County Fair in the 60s. Mama Crowder, Granddaddy, Ab, Mittie, Libby, Ed, Hazel, Sam and many others would serve the hungry crowds at the fair. Ed would oversee the operation from his perch in the middle of Wilson's booth. Country ham biscuits were actually made from scratch by Mama Crowder and others and they were the best ever.
In recent years, I would see David Wilson most mornings at the Y working out on a stairmaster. Then I began to see him struggling to walk into the Y. Then walking in with a cane. David had been diagnosed with ALS better known as Lou Gherig's Disease. Throughout his struggles he has been amazing. And so have his friends and family.
Last night was the 3rd annual "Pass the Gift" fundraiser. Like most of us, David loves music. Unlike a lot of us, he could actually play music. So could his brother, Jimmy, and a lot of their friends. So it isn't a surprise that the full name of the fundraiser is "The David Wilson Rockin' and Rollin' Pass the Gift Fundraiser". The music that David loves is played live by people who love him.
There are many amazing things about this fundraiser. Three years ago David's friends wanted to do something to encourage David and his family and to help David with medical costs. A bunch of friends put together a very successful event. The next year they wanted to do it again. This is where David's strength and self-less-ness came through. David asked them to do the fundraiser but to find someone else who had met with a medical challenge and to do the event for their benefit. So this is the third year but each year another person who is in need benefits. Passing the Gift for sure.
David was at the event last night with a couple hundred other people. Some knew each other and many did not but the compassion and the spirit of giving was there for everyone. Since David now has difficulty speaking, his daughter Gracie, did a great job reading things he wanted to say to thank and encourage the crowd. Grace in every sense of the word.
Last night, I mentioned to David how much I enjoy reading his facebook posts. Sometimes people dis facebook, but I think it's awesome that Facebook allows us to be connected and allows everyone to have a voice. Especially people with an attitude like David. He has written many interesting posts.
Here is what he wrote recently about life changes.
"Thinkin' about how every change in life is good and bad. Plurality. People, relationships, careers, wars, death, sickness, wealth, poverty. I've spent a lot of my worrying on fear of change. Fighting inevitability. The fight is only in your head. Roll with the changes. The secret to happiness is a REO Speedwagon song."
And maybe sometimes a Guess Who song "Seasons Change and so do I. We need not wonder why".
Crowder Peas and Mama's Salsa
The end of summer always brings crowder peas and the last good tomatoes. Recently we have frozen a lot of crowder peas and also eaten some straight from the garden. Mama makes homemade salsa to go with crowder peas and cornbread and that is a complete meal in itself. Life's joy is in the simple things.
Cousin Mike stopped by the day Dad was overseeing picking and shelling crowder peas from the Lattimore Garden. It was a good day to be under the big shade tree in the back yard.
It's amazing how many peas appear from one shell. Here they have been shelled, washed a ton of times, blanched until they get to be the "right color" then cooled. I blogged the full directions, such as they are, on the September 10, 2010 post.
After putting all the peas that Mama wanted in her freezor, Dad let me bring the rest to my house to finish up. I feel a little like the squirrel that puts up nuts for the winter.
Mama's salsa starts with a recipe from Barbara White McKay and then Mama tweaks it to her own liking. She is careful to chop things neatly and uniformly.
This salsa is healthy and wonderful and, typical Mama, it is colorful and beautiful too. She always serves it in a pretty bowl.
Tomato Salsa
4 small tomatoes, peeled and chopped (about 2 cups)
1/2 cup onion, chopped fine
1/2 cup green pepper, chopped fine
1 or 2 jalapeno peppers, minced, seeded (we don't seed these completely so it has a kick)
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon lime juice (sometimes I think she uses lemon juice)
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 ounce can tomato sauce
Combine everything together, cover and refrigerate. Keeps well in the fridge. Enjoy!
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