After spending a successful year at NC State, Jay had applied for and been accepted to transfer to UNC-Chapel Hill. My Alma Mater. I was thrilled. I quickly paid a deposit for housing and a parking place and imagined all kinds of reasons to get to spend time on Franklin Street. Blue heaven.
About a month later I learned that Jay had been approached about transferring to Gardner Webb University with a chance to be a part of their Division I basketball program. Knowing his love for basketball and his thoughts of coaching in the future, we knew we had to let him make his own decision. I did recommend that he talk with his endocrinologist who is brilliant in diabetes management and in questions of life. Since Dr. B was affiliated with UNC-CH, I also thought he might be as biased as I was.
I was wrong. After talking with Jay for a good while he said, "College is as much about personal growth and development as anything. Why don't you take some time to consider where you believe you can attain the most personal growth?"
Later I asked Dr. B what he thought Jay's answer would be and he surprised me by saying, "I'm 90% it is Gardner Webb."
Five years ago as I was trying to help David IV make college decisions, my friend and former Peace College president, Laura, had given me excellent advice. She said, "you can help guide them only so far. The main thing is to get them on the campuses and one day a light will come on and they will tell you - this is where I am going." That exact thing had happened with David IV. With his engineering mind and fun during engineering camp at NC State, we had totally expected him to major in engineering at State. After visiting State and several other campuses we visited Wofford College. At the end of the Wofford visit David jumped into the back seat of our car, slammed the door and said with total confidence, "This is where I am coming to school."
One of our favorite sayings around this house is "Life is a journey, not a destination." One of the tough things about parenting is learning that there comes a time when it's your child's journey, not yours. My friend, Tommy, used to say that we are all here on earth for our own journey and if everyone could accept that everyone would benefit. The world would be a better place if people wouldn't try to control everyone and everything around them.
So Jay did decide on Gardner Webb and we all learned a lot in the process. Personal growth and development really doesn't stop after college. Or at least it shouldn't.
At Gardner Webb's baccalaureate service, I learned that Alma Mater is latin for Nourishing Mother. And that Gardner Webb's motto is Pro Deo et Humanitate (for God and Humanity). And that both of these latin terms are alive and well on the GWU campus.
At the commencement ceremony, a student speaker said many had questioned her enrollment at Gardner Webb. She is an honors student and had visited many campuses. After four years at GWU, she explained why GWU was the right place for her. It was relationships. Especially her relationships with professors. Relationships that are both mentor and friend. One anecdote was that she and several other GWU students took an honors trip to DC with alot of students from other campuses. They walked into the hotel with their GWU professor. One student later asked wide eyed, "You brought your professor with you?" Her reply, "Of course. Didn't you?"
Jay has similar stories about relationships with various professors, coaches, staff and the cafeteria ladies. All have been an important part of his growth and development.
At the commencement we heard the Gardner-Webb University Orchestra and they were passionate, in synch and in all ways outstanding. Then we heard the Gardner-Webb University Choir and they completely knocked our socks off. David IV remembered from seeing a program that the choir would sing a song about being changed. We both thought that this might be the song "For Good" from Wicked which, as David IV puts it, always brings on a Royster come apart. That song has special meaning for us in many ways.
As the GWU choir began we realized they were singing an old gospel song, "I Know I've Been Changed". It still caused a Royster come apart. Let's just say it was a good thing I had hankies. The student choir sang a very moving and powerful performance of a moving and powerful song.
"I Know I've Been Changed" was written on the faces of every student at the GWU Commencement. Probably the professor and parent faces too.
After the degrees were conferred, Dr. Bonner reminded everyone that Commencement means Beginning, not Conclusion. He encouraged them to live a life of service - Pro Deo et Humanitate. Then another professor mentioned that to live full and meaningful lives she hoped each student would "immerse yourself in the things that last - nature, art, music, books, good relationships."
The students were given a blessing from Tracey Jessup, "May your love be surrounding, your grace be astounding and your hope be grounding." Good advice for students of any age. Jay's Alma Mater is nourishing for sure.
Congratulations to Jay and to all graduates everywhere. Good Luck on your own journey.
Jay's Guacamole
Guacamole is nourishing too and Jay has been making it a lot lately. Like the rest of us he is learning to cook from intuition and typically doesn't measure. Luckily we have had fresh cilantro and garlic in the garden.
Avocado - peeled, seeded and coursely mashed
Lemon juice
Lime juice
Fresh chopped cilantro
Fresh garlic
Occasionally a chopped and seeded jalapeno
Sometimes a little rotel or salsa. Sometimes he serves this separately.
Stir it all together and serve with Tostitoes!
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